Three Party Marriages

This is the wedding meditation (sermon)I did at Meg's wedding, 8/22/09. Lisa and Jeff's wedding was very well attended and was very nice. The dramatic kiss to seal their vows, drew long applause. Jan and Betty sang. There was over 300 at the reception that was outside by the river. It was one of the very best I have attended, and that is many.
THREE PARTY MARRIAGES



Excerpts from Genesis 1-3

God created man in his own Image, the Lord God formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life and man become a living being.

God said it is not good for man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him. God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then God made woman from the rib and brought her to the man.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. God blessed them and said “be fruitful and increase in number.”

Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living,… (later)

Adam and Eve heard the sound of God as they were walking in the garden in the cool of the day



God invented marriage. It was one of his best creations. He officiated at the first wedding ceremony. The ceremony was a bit briefer, than this one. Because Adam and Eve did not have to say “I will forsake all other keeping you only”, and “I pledge you my faith”



This had to be a ideal marriage, the perfect man, the perfect woman, living in a paradise. But what made it a super special marriage is IT WAS A 3 PARTY RELATIONSHIP, one man, one woman and their God. As indicated by the fellowship they had in their strolls with God in the garden.

Somehow we think a perfect marriage is a 2 party relationship, one man, and one woman madly in love. But the average divorce rate of a 2 party relationship marriage is 50%. Compared to less than 1% to a 3 party.



The perfect marriage is when there are 3 involved, and God gets more attention than the man and woman. The truth is the more God has of each of you, the more you will have to give to each other.

In a 2 party marriage the couple can only give from their limited carnal nature which is dominated by selfishness. But in a 3 party marriage the couple can give to each other from their God improved, forgiven, redeemed nature. Without the liability of selfishness, which is the essence of sin, and a life without God.




I am sure that the Adams had a great marriage, until they sinned and disobey God, and God said “I am out of here” and evicted them from their home in paradise. When they sinned they lost God’s holiness in which they were created. They took on Satan’s character of selfishness, which made giving to each other in marriage a risky business.



Jeff, Lisa, if you want the perfect marriage, you must love God more than you do each other.

Jesus made it plain. You must put God ahead of spouse and family.



Therefore, I challenge you to love God with all your heart, soul and body, and then love each other with whatever remains. I challenge you to be as active in your church as you can possibly be. To raise my great grandchildren in Sunday School, help them to think that the church is their second home. Serve God with gladness and give him your very best.



Jeff, I challenge you to accept the role God has given you of being the spiritual leader of this new family, and to love Lisa as Christ loves you.



Lisa, I challenge you to be the kind of wife and mother that God would use as an example for the next generation.



The scripture I read said, that God has blessed you, and I Bless you, and this congregation by their presence here blesses you.



I now ask this congregation, Will you pray for this new family, will you encourage them and support them as God would lead you. Jeff and Lisa, turn around and see the hands pledged in prayer and support.

Probable Cronological outline of Revelations

Proven Biblical Cures

The Bible has many remarkable answers to human needs. Its primary purpose is ministry to spiritual needs. However, God repeatedly intervenes in human lives in many ways. Let me mention a few.
Health. The following examples are proven health cures for various health issues. In every case the cure was 100% successful.
Poison snake bite- “Look at a bronze snake on a pole,” Num. 21: 8. “Shake the snake off, into the fire.” Acts. 28:2-6.
Poison food- “Put flour into the stew” II Kings 6: Poison water- “Pour salt into it out of a new bowl.” II Kings 2:19-22.
Death- Put the prophet’s staff on the child’s face,” II Kings 4:29. “Put the body in the tomb with a dead prophet,” II Kings: “Remove the stone from the tomb, say a brief prayer, and shout loud, “Come out”, John 11:38-44. “Get down on your knees and pray, and then say “Get up”, Acts 9:41.
Leprosy- “Dip seven times in the Jordon River,” II Kings 5:1-14 “Stay outside the camp for seven days”, Num. 12:14. “Show yourself to the priest”, Luke 17:14.
Withered hand- “Stretch it out”. Mark ?
Hemorrhage- “Touch the hem of the teacher’s garment, Mark?
Blindness- “Put mud in the eye,” John 9:6-7. “Yell loud to a passing religious leader,” Mark?
Crippled for 38 years- “Pick up your bed and walk,” John 5:1-9.
Paralytic- “Tear up a roof and get lowered into a room,” Luke 5:17-26.
Deafness- “Stick your fingers into his ears,” Mark 7:33.
The Bible also has a lot of proven solutions for difficult problems. Here are a few examples. Every one of the above directions was successful.
Poverty, “Give your last ½ cup of flour, and you will have all you need,” I Kings 17:7-15. “Gather all the jars you can and then fill them from one ½ full small container, II Kings. 4:1-7.
Lost ax head in a river- “Throw a stick in,” II Kings 6:1-6.
Feed 5.000 men plus women and kids. “Divide a boy’s lunch and have 12 baskets left over,” Matt.
Provide water in a desert for 3.000.000 people, plus livestock, in a desert. “Hit a rock with your staff.” Ex. 17:3-7.
Paying taxes- “Go fishing; get the money out of the mouth of the first fish you catch,” Matt. 17:24.
The Bible has many examples of proven ways to win wars. The partial list below shows instances of 100% successful strategies for winning wars. The enemy causalities list numbers in the 100’s of thousands, with often no casualties on the side that used these strategies.
Egypt- “Lead the entire army into the divided Red Sea and drown them,” Ex. 14:23-28.
Jericho- “Walk around the city 13 times, then shout and blow trumpets,” Josh. 6:15-21.
Midianites and Amalakites- “Take 300 men against too many to count soldiers, break jars, and blow trumpets,” Judges 7:15-22.
Jehosaphat, “Have the choir lead singing and praising God,” II Chron. 20:21-23.
Philistines- “Send a teen ager with a slingshot against a 9 foot giant,” I Sam. 17:1-49. Send two men against a garrison,” I Sam. 14:1-13. “Get one man with a donkey jaw bone and kill 1000,” Judges 15:16.
Jabin, a king of Canaan, “Get a woman preacher to lead the army,” Judges 4:1-9.
Ai- “Decoy the army away from town, then slip in the back door and burn it, Josh. 8:10-23.
Amorites, “Command the sun to stand still”, Josh. 10:12-14.
Syria- “Create the sound of many chariots and horses,” II Kings 2: “Pray that God will send one angel who will in one night kill 185.000 soldiers,” II Kings 19:35.
The startling fact about this sermon is- The common factor of all 30 examples given, is that they were all successful, and not a single one of them make any sense. In fact, from a human standpoint, they are just plain stupid. Everyone knows that putting mud in a person’s eye would cause him not to be able to see, not cure blindness. How can you get up and walk when you can’t even get up? You can look at an object all day long, and nothing will be cured, let alone a deadly snake bite, that hundreds had already died from. How can you get a woman to be the General of the Army, when at this time no women had ever been in the army, let alone be the leader. Besides being a preacher, she was probably also a blond. Yes, the methods worked every one of them. But in any other situation or any other time, none of them would have worked.
There is more going on here than meets the eye. In each of them either God, Jesus, or a “man of God”, such as Elijah or Elisha, an Apostle such as Peter or Paul is involved. And so, we know that Divine Power is part of the cure. But in each case, besides God or his representative being present, with divine power, a third factor is included. This factor is an individual, who is seeking divine intervention. Thus the individual is the key to the cure working, the problem being solved, the opposing army defeated. These were ordinary people for the most part, just a cross section of society. Or humble ordinary people when they first were the key to miracles, and became great because of their faith. David was a teen shepherd boy when he first allowed God to use him. Moses was a fugitive from justice, a shepherd, living in the desert when he allowed God to use him as a key of faith. Gideon was no one of note, when he believed and followed God becoming a man of faith. The Shunammite woman that was kind to a prophet, a poor widow at Zarephath, a prophet’s widow, a student prophet, a sick woman, a blind man. They could have been any of us. All of us could be the key to miracles in our lives and in building God’s Kingdom.
We learned from Jesus, when he returned to Nazareth. We learned that he often needed an individual’s faith to perform miracles for us, Mark 5:5-6. Time after time, he says to individuals, “Your faith has healed you,” or “Your faith has saved you”. This is strange, since Jesus does not perform miracles.
He can do anything, and nothing is a miracle for him. The word miracle is a human word. When he does something for us that is impossible for us to do, we call it a miracle, because we cannot do it. To God, it is no more effort than the twitch of an eye-brow. Yet, even though it is a small thing for God, he wants us to provide the faith for him to do it. It must be like a parent urging a child to walk. You can easily carry the child, yet we let them fall time after time, so they can learn to walk. So, God lets us stumble on, trying to get us to “walk by faith”, so we can be spiritually mature. The scripture says, “Without faith it is impossible to please God,” Heb. 11:6. So, he encourages us to use faith he has made available to us, that we might have our miracles. He wants us to have them, just as we want our children to learn to walk.
Back to the health cures, problem solutions, and war strategies that are so senseless. Why did God give them? Is he just kidding, playing with us, or has he a sense of humor? Or is he trying to teach us to live by faith? Look at the practical side. If they made sense, and actually worked on their own merit, then there would be no faith involved. All we would be doing would be following instructions, showing God how obedient we are. But that would not glorify God. By us having faith, allowing him to give us a miracle, we glorify him. By using faith, we have a miracle to brag on God about, and reason to praise him.
When the ax- head fell into the Jordon, Elisha could have jumped in, waded around, or dived for it till he found it. But that does not glorify God or involve any faith. It just requires knowing how to swim. By throwing a stick in so the ax head would float, you are performing a senseless act that requires divine power to float iron on water. Then God, not Elisha, gets the glory, and the man who lost it gets a lesson, and exercises faith in the God of Elisha.
Naaman, the leper, could not understand dipping in the Jordon seven times. He could not understand why he should dip in the Jordan, or why 7 times. There is nothing magic about taking a bath. But there is plenty of faith in believing a foreign God’s power to do the impossible, with senseless instruction. His obedience turned into faith, and he was healed.
The blind man could not understand how putting mud in his eyes would make him see. But he did understand, that if Jesus put it there, it had a reason. His faith led him to obey, to get someone to lead him to the pool of Siloam, and to wash the mud out. He did it, and was immediately an ex-blind man.
The simple fact is- “Faith is an essential part of our Christian life, and we must use it, if we are going to please God, and enjoy his divine power working in and through our lives.”
Every healing and miracle was by a different method.
The next big question we face is “How to build faith.”

How to be a successful Pastor

HOW TO BE A SUCCESSFUL PASTOR
Or
Some Thoughts from a Retired Minister
or
Musings on Church Growth
or
Tips on Pastoring
or
Things I did not learn in Seminary
By
L. Dale Horton

(Note: this is not complete in correction or content).

After attending a District Assembly, I noted that only thirty percent of the churches showed any numerical or financial growth, according to the published statistics. In a recent report in “Holiness Today”, it was reported that for the 06-07 fiscal year the churches in US and Canada had a .06 drop in worship attendance. Looking at four District Assembly reports I noticed that all had loss in attendance. Believing a church should grow, I was reminded of some thoughts I have had down through the years, and decided to write them down.

My presumption to write this is based on the following.

I have pastored 42 years fulltime and 4 years part time. I have been retired 7 years. I have pastored 6 Churches, on 6 districts, in 5 states, on 4 college zones; I have attended 14 General Assemblies, at least 56 District Assemblies, at least 49 Pastor’s retreats, every NMI, and NYI Convention, and too many seminars and training sessions to remember. I have a Bachelor of Religion, Bachelor of Theology, a Masters of Divinity, and Masters of Church Management degrees.

The Churches I pastored paid every budget in full every year I pastored. I have served on every District Board or Committee. Except the NMI council, and held about every office but D S. The Churches I pastored showed growth in baptism and professions of faith every year. At least 80% of the time they showed numerical and financial growth and I believe spiritual growth 100% of the time. I cannot remember how many times they received the “Growing Church Achievement Award”, but at least 33% of the time, and 3 years in a row in one church. I have pastored churches in size range from 40 to 400. I have had 5 building programs in my ministry, two of them complete plants, and all of them adding new classrooms and enlarging the sanctuary, plus the purchase of one parsonage.

I have a very talented and capable wife, who by decision did not take a secular job, but worked with me in the ministry as a volunteer. We decided to live on what I made, and adjusted our life style accordingly. If any of the above is considered a success, she certainly receives a lot of the credit! Together we raised four very successful children, two School Teachers, an MD, and a Geologist-Hydrologist. We have twelve grandchildren.

What is success in a pastorate? In this context, it is: increases in attendance, baptisms and professions of faith, as emphasized by the District Assembly. There are few professions of faith outside of those attending, so attendance, baptisms and professions of faith is referred to as “church growth”, which is the essence of the great commission. Of course there is nurturing etc., but evangelism is first priority.

There are many factors that enable a Pastor to succeed in growth: personality, spouse, personal characteristics, background, specialized training, temperament, etc. These are different in every individual, but they still do not guarantee success. Certainly they can enhance it, or limit it. We all know pastors who appear to have everything needed to make a church grow, but it does not grow under their ministry.

Why do some pastor’s churches consistently show growth, and others consistently show losses, or remain just about the same with slight ups and downs from one District Assembly to the next? Is one more spiritual than the other? Or has one attended more seminars than the other? Or has one a more definite call to preach than the other? Or has one more faith than the other? I think not.

I know many pastors that attend every seminar that comes along. They take volumes of notes, yet nothing happens in their churches concerning more baptisms, professions of faith, and increases in attendance.

Look at the graph of a church’s attendance. Nearly always the high and lows correspond with pastoral changes.

Notice at the next District Assembly how the number of baptisms and professions of faith reported is in direct relationship to the increase in attendance.

Some pastors bury more people than they baptize. I believe that the calling of a pastor is to baptize, doing funerals is a must of course, but they are way down the list of priorities. The church was created by Christ to grow. He said “I will build my church” and He can only do it through His church.

Too many pastors have bought into the myth that “I must have a certain kind of music to reach today’s sinners”. So they change music. I have known numerous churches that changed their music, in order to reach new people. I can’t think of a single one that had growth as a result of the change. But I do know of many that showed loss as a result of change.

It is true that some growing churches have the latest style of music. But I maintain, that the same church would grow, with the same pastor, no matter what type of music is used. There are other growing churches that have not changed their music.

I like what Jim Cymbala said, something like this. “We should not design our services to appeal to the sinner, but to appeal to God. If the services attract God’s presence, then they will appeal to all ages”. Another myth, - “If I just had a new program my church would grow”. So they go to another town, and copy another church’s program, and yet nothing happens, still no growth.

Change must happen, every growing thing must change, but the secret of change is in testing it. If the change does not work, does not increase baptisms, attendance, etc., should I continue it, definitely not.
I believe we have accepted too many non-productive changes that need to be replaced with new change or go back to when we were growing.

Many times a pastor from a non-growing church goes to a growing church and it stops growing, or a pastor from a growing church goes to a non-growing church and it starts growing.

Pastor, what makes a church grow is not the music, nor the program, nor the town, nor the congregation. It is the current pastor.

In this paper I am taking for granted a pastor’s personal spiritual maturity, a clear call from God to minister in his present church, a measure of education in related subjects, being in God’s will, a good prayer life, and even the presence of God in the services.

I have discovered in addition to these, there are two basic things an individual must succeed in to see church growth.

1. Being able to get along with people.
2. Being able to finance the program.

Being able to do both of these is necessary. It seems that if a person succeeds in one, but not the other, he will not have a growing church,

The pastor may be an excellent preacher, or a great administrator, or a super counselor, or a compassionate visitor, or all of the above, but still fail in growth if he can’t perform these two things. Probably if a man can’t do the first one, he will be unable to do the second. He may be able to do the first one yet not be able to do the second. The second one is a different set of skills, so is separate.

A “rule of thumb” could be, failure to get along with people equals a short pastorate. Failure to finance the program equals a long pastorate with no growth. Some pastors have exceedingly long pastorates, but the congregation is still about the same size as when they began. Of course there have been no added classrooms or enlarged sanctuaries. Of course there are exceptions to every rule. I know pastors who can raise money and have been in building programs, but have very short pastorates, hence no permanent growth.

Of course there is an up side of not having any growth; you will not have to go into a building program. Building programs are costly and very time consuming. No pastor would want to take time from his non- church growing actitives, to add class rooms or enlarge the sanctuary. Many pastors have never had the privilege of driving a single nail in a facilities expansion program.

I have often wondered how you can learn to get along with people. I have just about decided that you either have it or you don’t. But my wife insists that you can learn it. However, I believe that most people do not have the self discipline to break long standing habits that cause them to fail in dealing with people. If they can change, maybe the following will help.

Getting along with people

Leading a volunteer organization is a lot different than leading a business. You can’t fire volunteers, so you must be able to get along with them. Perhaps a pastor’s biggest mistake is to tell someone that attends - “you might be happier if you found another church”. We are in existence to minister to people, even if they are a problem. The church is much more than a volunteer origination, it is the Body of Christ and it has a commission to grow. How much more, then, should we learn to do the job the church was created for, “to reach the lost”.

Most of our problems are of our own making, and most of them have to deal with getting along with people. I pastored a couple of churches in which the previous pastors had lost a lot of people. In the course of time, a lot of these people came back. Sooner or later the reason for their leaving was revealed. In every case, it was a problem with the pastor, things that could have easily been avoided, usually unwise remarks by the pastor. And it never was the same problem with any two, usually over a simple thing.

Pastoring is about people. Yes, you must preach, conduct board meetings, administer the church. But the real job that determines growth is how you get along with people. You can be an average preacher, but still have growth. Perhaps in a large church you could have growth with just great preaching. But few have that opportunity.

Sam Walton, founder of Wal-Mart in his autobiography, “Sam Walton Made in America”, makes it very clear that the success of Wal-Mart is due to the care of customers by his employees. If success in business is tied to people relationship, how much more is it in the church?

It seems that a new pastor is given a full container of credibility. As long as he does not spill much of it, he has great rapport and the ability to work with the congregation. But if he makes mistake after mistake, until he has lost half of his credibility, then he might as well start packing, for he will not have any growth. Your honeymoon with the church will last as long as your container of credibility is nearly full.

Probably the reason that some churches do not grow, is they fail to do so because the pastor neglects or transgresses in little things, rather than not achieving the big things. Their credibility just leaks away.
Much of the following is just as important for the pastor’s spouse. Unfortunately, the spouse can significantly damage the pastor’s credibility. More than one pastor has resigned because of the spouse’s misadventures, moral or otherwise.

Getting along with people covers a very wide spectrum, which is mostly made up of many little things, such as the following, they have no specific order of importance.

Availability. For people to like you, they must get to know you. This means you must be available as well as approachable. The larger the congregation, the harder it is to do. But the principle applies to any size of church. The following are some things that can help you to be available.

Be at the Church at least 30 minutes before any service. Plan this time so people can talk to you. Stand at the entrance or at any spot where the most people are passing. You can acknowledge everybody that passes by with eye contact and a nod of the head. Even if you are talking with some one else. Shake hands if possible, even if you are talking to someone else at the time. People want to know you see them and are aware of them. To do so you must not be making last minute preparation on sermons or office work etc. Plan any pre-service prayer meeting to dismiss before this time. Just be there and let people see you, and talk if they want to.

Adopt an open door policy. The Church is not a Key club, or a secret organization. Open all window shades in the sanctuary and class rooms (unless there is a glare) especially in your office. Let people look in. The more they can see, the more welcome they will feel. Keep your office door open. If it has an outside door, open it if the weather permits. If it is an inside door, leave it open. I never locked or shut my inside office door for any reason, even when I was not present, except for counseling. It helps people to know you are available.

Answer the telephone. People don’t call unless they want to talk to you. If you have a secretary, instruct her to make it easy for people to reach you. If you have an answering machine, don’t put the time of services on it, 99% of the people who call know the time of the services and many will not leave a message because they don’t want to wait for the advertisement to finish. Just say, “I will return your call” as soon as possible”, and then do it. Check the device as often as possible, and return the calls as soon as possible. If you fail to do so, you would be better off to throw the answering machine away. Publish your phone number even your cell, on everything you print, the more people see it the more free they will feel to call. Remember pastoring is all about people. There are few things if any, more important than building relations with people. If you want to get away from the phone then get rid of your cell phone. I didn’t get a cell until after I retired for that reason. More pastors lose credibility by letting it leak away by little things, (like not answering or returning calls), than by spilling it by major mistakes.

If you want to spill a big amount of credibility, try not answering your phone at home, or on your day off, and then let the caller find out that you were really there. If you think pastoring is a 9 to 5 job, 5 days a week, then you better start looking for a new line of work, because you will never make it as a pastor.

Here are some, for sure ways to lose credibility.
Don’t visit the sick or bereaved.
Forget or be late for a funeral.
Don’t answer the phone or return calls.
Make unwise statements, even if they are true.
Betray confidences.
Be late for meetings, and don’t start services on time.
Show favoritism.
Neglect having the building heated or cooled on time.
Not being available.
Embarrass people in public.
I mentioned earlier that spiritual maturity was assumed but, if you are tired of pastoring you can lose your whole container of credibility by one act of sexual indiscretion, or even by the appearance of it.

Be on time for any appointments,
A little early if possible. I would rather be thirty minutes early than five minutes late.

One on one. Individual conversations are an excellent way to build morale, and stroke people’s ego. It gives you a chance to complement them, thank them for something, and seek their advice. Of course it must be done sincerely. All church members are human, and as such need to feel appreciated and needed. Part of your job is to help them feel that. Talk about them, and as little as possible about yourself. One very successful way of winning their confidence and support is by asking their advice on some insignificant thing, and then following it.

This is especially true of board members, or people who have a relevant expertise. There are usually many ways to do things. It does not have to be your way. Don’t ask advice on major issues, for if they give it and you don’t follow it, you are in trouble.

Making an issue out of a minor thing. There will always be some that disagree with you. If it is not really important, let them have their way, and do it in a way that strokes their ego. You will gain credibility instead of losing it. Don’t insist on doing it your way, unless it is illegal, immoral, or doctrinally unsound. If it is a serious issue, get the board to make the final decision. Let them take the heat, instead of you losing credibility.

Talking, public and private. James was certainly correct when in chapter three he mentioned the power of the tongue. So much credibility is lost by letting it pour off the tongue. There are many things that are true, but don’t need to be spoken, but when they are they spread like wildfire. Being sensitive to things the affect your credibility is essential. If you don’t have it, I don’t know how to teach it.

I am not talking about anything that has any shade of dishonesty, by omission or lying, but just saying things that don’t need to be said. Many pastors talk too much about themselves in public and in private conversation that often reveals information that affects other peoples sensitivity and thus affects your credibility.

Some pastors talk excessively in public, just to hear themselves talk. They have not learned to say things simply with just a few words. The less talking about non essential things gives more time to speak of serious things in your sermon.

There are many little things that are not the responsibility of the pastor, nor should he do them. However, if they are not done, he will be sure to get the blame, and lose credibility. Therefore, the pastor must learn and succeed in recruiting people, to be responsible for them.

Have the doors open early, the lights on, the heat or air conditioning on in time to do their function. Have the lawn taken care of, especially before Sunday. See that paper towels are in the dispensers in the rest rooms, tithe envelopes in the book racks, the sound booth properly operated (extremely important), starting all services and meetings when announced, and the outside reader board sign is changed every week at the same time. .

Advertisement. The reader board is one of the most effective and inexpensive ways to advertise. It gets people’s attention. Use short witty saying, don’t quote scripture on it. There are a lot of resources for material. One couple told me they drove 35 miles every week just to read it.

Apparent misuse of finances. It doesn’t matter if it is actual or perceived; it will cost you a huge amount of credibility. It is almost impossible to recover from it. Be meticulous about your money management, both yours and of the church.

Finances

If your attendance grows, then your infrastructure must grow. You will need more room, more staff, etc. Therefore, you must be able to finance the program, by inspiring the church to give and leading them by example, to faith in giving. By financing the program, I am not talking about some gimmicks or high pressure fund raising method, but by practicing the Biblical concept of giving. This is a faith thing, inspired by spirituality.

As in about every area of life, finance plays a major role this is especially true in the church. The state of an individual churches finances reflects the spirituality and morale of the church. Don’t be led into believing that you can finance the church by selling church property. That is opposite of what financing the program means.
To get an idea of how your church is doing financially, compare it with similar type churches on the district. Divide your attendance into your total monies raised, do this with the district average, and the average of similar churches. The per capital giving will give you a feel of what percentage of your people are tithers.

The church will never learn how to live by faith unless the pastor lives by faith. He is the faith motivator. I believe many pastors who get along with people quite well, fail in financing the program by lack of faith, both in leadership and in practice. It takes faith to get a vision and then lead the congregation to it. It takes faith to move into a building program.

After preaching about faith for many years I have come up with this definition. “Faith is a human using Divine power to accept, please, and accomplish what a Invisible God expects of us.”

About the only way I know to have faith, is to start stepping out on faith in small things and let it increase. Of course learning the joy of giving is the place to start. Shortly after I was saved at age 17, our church was in a revival. As usual in those days, on the third Sunday morning the pastor would get up and raise an offering for the evangelist. He would begin by asking for a hundred dollars, then fifty, and on down to a dollar. When he got to fifteen, it suddenly dawned on me I could give fifteen. I had a paper route and did other odd jobs and had money in the bank. The Holy Spirit prompted me to respond, so up went my hand, and I wrote out a check. On Sunday night it was the custom that the evangelist would get up and raise an appreciation offering for the pastor. So the routine began again. When he got down to fifteen dollars the Spirit reminded me I could give that, so up went my hand again. I had never before given anything to the church except tithe since I had been saved. As soon as I raised my hand God’s blessing began to fall on me, and filled me with joy like I had never experienced before, and it continued for days. (This was before God called me to preach.) I realized that I wanted to make a lot of money so I could give it to the church. From this experience I found it easy to start living by faith.

Probably the first step in living by faith is tithing. I believe the reason God asks us to tithe is to test our faith. He then test us in giving for missions and other spiritual causes above our tithe. If we are faithful in these things we can began to expect God to work miracles in our lives. I went to Bethany Penial College to prepare to preach. And found God interceding for me in so many ways. I had only one hundred and twenty five dollars. My parents could not help me, so I was going on faith. Four years later, when I graduated, all my school bills were paid and I had one hundred and twenty five dollars. The same experience happened when I went to seminary.

In my first church, I found out they had never paid the budgets, including the general budget for missions. Since I believed that missions were a high priority in the church, I started preaching on missions five Sundays before Thanksgiving. (At that time most churches raised their general budget by Thanksgiving and Easter offerings). I did such a good job of preaching those five sermons that my wife and I were led by the Spirit to give a week’s salary for missions. We did this even though we had no savings and did not have enough food to last through the week.

My sermons also inspired six people to give one dollar each in sacrificing for missions! This was probably the greatest discouragement I have ever experienced. On Monday the blessings began, our two year old daughter needed a new coat and a lady dropped by with a brand new coat that fit her perfectly. The next day a fifty dollar bill was in the mail anonymously. The next day the city manager called and ask if I could drop by his office, when I did he handed me two fifty dollar checks and said one was for the church and one for me.

Within three weeks we had received over three hundred dollars in cash or goods that we had no reason to expect. The church did pay their general budgets and we continued to give a weeks salary for missions.

I continued to ask the board to pay the rest of the budgets; they always replied we can’t afford it. Finally in a board meeting, after they again said we could not pay them, I declared that I would pay them with my salary. What we were going to live on, I had no idea. They then agreed to try. I don’t remember how we did it, but I never missed getting my salary and we paid them all. God somehow brought in the money needed. In 42 years of pastoring, the churches I pastored never failed to pay all of its budgets.

In all of my churches I encouraged, and taught people to give. Some pastors are afraid to peach on stewardship or tithing. They are afraid of offending people. It is a lot better to offend people, than to offend God. Stewardship is directly tied to spirituality. If you don’t preach it, and teach it, you are neglecting the “preaching of the Word”. The good news is, you can preach and teach it without offending people.

I can remember receiving more complements than usual, after preaching on tithing. The congregation needs to learn that it is a joy to give, a real blessing, an expression of faith. They must understand that we don’t tithe because the church needs it, but because God requires it as a test of faith. That it a very important factor in spiritual maturity.

If all the people tithed all their income all the time, there will never be a lack of money for an expanding ministry. Building expansion may require extra offerings.

Paying the assigned budgets is part of financing the program. It is as much building the kingdom as paying your salary. Pastors, who think paying the budgets is optional, will never have enough faith to lead the church in a building program. I endeavored to pay the budgets as soon as possible, and often did, even in 4 or 5 months. Then I devoted the surplus to special projects.

Years ago my church was $12.000 short of paying all budgets as we approached the end of the Assembly year. It was my first year in that church and a lot of things contributed to the crunch. I got the board to agree on a plan to raise it. It was simple. For one week we asked the congregation to tithe 90% and live on 10%.

It caught on, and on the last week of the Assembly year we did it. We received in the offering $12,038. It was a congregation of about 80 people. Ninety five-percent of the church participated. The result was a huge rise in morale, and the spiritual results were better than a revival, because they learned they could live by faith.

A week or so later at the Sunday school convention, the speaker made the statement, talking about praise, that if we did what we should do, we would applaud when giving the offering. The next Sunday, when I called for the ushers to come forward, those who attended the convention, applauded.

Because of the giving-revival that had just taken place, the idea quickly caught on, and offerings after that were applauded. They are still doing it 20 years later. My next church started doing it, as well as many other churches who heard about it. The long term results were phenomenal. We never were behind on budget payments again; we paid off a building loan 9 years ahead of schedule, and started another building fund.

We soon built a new foyer, gym, and 12 large class rooms, debt free. When I left that church 95% of the people were tithing.

A Pastor needs to know what the financial situation is in his church. What percentage of his attenders are tithers? What age group has the strong givers? To do this, he needs to look at the giving records occasionally. I did it about every three months. Through this he can spot spiritual problems, for they usually show up in the offering plate before anyplace else. Don’t let non-tithers be nominated for the church board. (See miscellaneous, nominating committee).

Be an example in personal finances. Many a pastor has spilled large quantities of credibility in the community and the church by letting bills go unpaid, either church or personal. Be wise in the management of the church’s finances. Never spend money the board has not approved. Perhaps you could get board permission to spend a small amount, without consulting them.

Don’t propose spending church money without a definite plan, and knowing it is worth it. Raise as much cash as possible before building programs. If the need is there, the people will rise to the occasion.

Follow the Manual meticulously in dealing with money, then no one can accuse you of bad management, unless the idea was faulty. Set the example of giving by personally putting your tithe or offering in the offering plate each week where the people can see you do it, even if you are paid biweekly or monthly. I usually prayed for the offering, as I wanted to express thanks to God for the joy of giving, and to teach the people that joy.

Pay all budgets on time or ahead of time. Overpay the Missions budget. I tried to double it, and occasionally did. You will never get what is given to missions anywhere else, and the spiritual benefits are tremendous. In fact teaching your people to sacrifice for mission will increase your regular giving, as they learn the joy of giving.

Don’t be bashful to ask for a pay raise. Most District Assemblies suggest it in –“Ministerial support.” My first salary was forty dollars a week. Over the years it increased to over twelve hundred dollars a week. Every time I received a pay raise, the church income increased to equal it. God knows you need it whether the board does or not. However, if your church is not showing growth, perhaps it would be presumptuous to ask for a raise.

Teach your board that the church is a faith institution. How many times have you heard, “the church needs to be run like a business”. That is absolutely not true. The church needs to be run as a spiritual institution, and let faith be its main motivator. To teach this, the last half of my ministry I got the board to operate on a faith basis. We would end each month with only $50.00 left in the treasury. We would always keep a special project going, so that any balance above $50.00 would go to it each month. The church always had enough income the next month to meet its needs. I believe this is pleasing to God, and he blesses the church who will dare to do it. Of course we were able to expand our ministry with the special projects.

Miscellaneous, tips on maintaining your credibility and church growth.

Leadership. As the leader of the church, take it seriously and lead. At the same time encourage others to lead. Give a lot of lee-way for creativity. Encourage volunteers, as well as insisting on accountability. Become successful in recruiting workers in every area, especially in the public services.

Use others to read the scripture, praying, etc. I limited my public praying to the Sunday morning pastoral prayer, and praying for the offering. Use others for announcements, lots of musicians, (old and very young, professional and beginners,) many singers will bring guest to hear them. Get as many people up front as possible, not just the elite, performing types. This will encourage people to develop their talents and feel more a part of the church family. Ron Lush, a very successful song evangelist, said often, “Use them or lose them,” and he was right.

As to being a pastor. Pastor, being the pastor does not make you -“the pastor”. When you arrive in town, preach your first sermon, and draw your first paycheck, it certainly means you are recognized as the pastor. You have the title, the respect, the authority. The people even call you pastor. But you do not become “the pastor”, until you have proven yourself. This process, takes a few months, maybe a year or more. I have known some pastors who never became “the pastor”, in the hearts of the people during their tenure.

Being “the pastor”, involves lots of little things, such as, being found trustworthy, (that is not betraying confidences), being a Nazarene in doctrine, being a sound preacher, proven to be an evangelist, seeing sinners being saved during your ministry, being a good leader, faithful in hospital calling, being available for counseling, fellowship, information, being an adequate organizer, and being faithful in following the Manual, it will save you a lot of heartache. In essence, it is being able to get along with people.

Having the position of pastor does not enable you to demand or secure the peoples’ respect and obedience. Hinting, or stating you have the right to be followed because you are “Gods anointed”, will probably produce the opposite effect, and to me, is arrogance, and misuse of authority. After you become “the pastor” in their hearts, they will follow your leadership without you telling them to.

After you become “the pastor”, in the hearts of the people, then you can really pastor. You can make changes without creating crises. You can reprove and be listened too without causing resentment. You can lead in growth and building programs, etc. In fact, you will have trouble financing the program until the people accept you as, “the pastor”. When you become “the pastor” your growth and outreach projects began to work. They must be built on the foundation of good rapport in people-pastor relations.


When you are “the pastor” harmony and love between the people will increase, as they are united in supporting the pastor. A happy atmosphere will develop and morale will rise to a high level. All this promotes increased attendance.

I would advise a pastor not to make any significant changes or do any public criticism until he has become “the pastor”.

Plan the church service, so that it does not get lopsided as to length. If you have something special, (such as a baby dedication, baptism, etc.), cut something else down, even if it is your sermon. (It is harder to preach a short sermon than a long one,) but the extra work will be worth it. People become creatures of habits. Your congregation will get a feel for how long the service is, and if you exceed that, you begin to leak credibility.

Probably more pastors fail over neglect of the little things, than failure to succeed in the big things. In two or three years their credibility just leaks away, no big spill.

Promote the Sunday school. If the Sunday school grows, the worship service will grow. If you only promote the worship service it may grow, but the Sunday school lags behind. Teach your teachers, that teaching also includes pastoring their class and reaching out to new people. Then you will have them helping to build not only the Sunday School but the worship service.

Try to have one class for every ten people attending the worship service. Most Sunday Schools average about ten per class. If you want to increase your worship service, add new Sunday school classes. For every new class you start, you will increase your worship service by ten. In every church I pastored, I tried to fill every available space with Sunday school classes.

Of course this kind of growth will raise the need for a building program. Realize that the biggest prospect list for Sunday School is people who come to worship, but not Sunday School.

Probably nothing will succeed unless you promote it, unless it is a long established tradition. Anything you promote, you must find time to attend, unless it is a “ladies only” affair. People will soon realize, if is not important enough for the pastor to attend, it is not important enough for them to attend. This is especially true in small churches. Remember pastoring is not a “9 to 5” job.

If you have a program you want to get rid of, the way to do it is, simply cancel a session. If you want to stop Sunday night service, just cancel it for any reason. People will immediately get the message. If I don’t need it this week, why do I need it next week? One pastor did this, and his Sunday night attendance immediately dropped thirty percent.

As a pastor you will be given many gifts, especially in summer with surplus garden products. Never refuse a gift of any kind. The person will consider it an insult. Take it, and if you don’t like it or can't use it, give it to some one who can. There are always needy people around. You will be offered useless or no-good things. Take it anyway.

One time a person brought a dish and said, “Pastor we didn’t like this, so we want to give it to you”. I took it and threw it away, but kept the giver as a friend. Recently a man had too many tomato plants. He brought them to church to give away. He asked me if I wanted some. As I was going to take some, another member was near by that had supplied me with fresh tomatoes for years. He stepped up and said, “I have already got the pastors’ tomatoes planted”.

When people give you something, respond with genuine gratitude, regardless of the significance of the gift. When they compliment you on the sermon, respond with a thank you or in some other humble or suitable manner.

Many churches have very strong-willed music directors. Even so the pastor should maintain some control over what is sung, both in type and the actual songs, in order to synchronize with his sermon, and set the mood of the particular service. I usually gave the song leader latitude, but insisted on at least two hymns, and occasionally requested one to match my sermon.

Thoughts on speaking, recently I heard a preacher who had gotten in the habit of pausing between sentences. The dramatic pause can be used to express the importance of the statement. To over-do it though, is to lose its effectiveness, and cause it to become an irritation. He preached a twenty minute sermon, but it took him thirty minutes to do it.

Another bad habit is, to lower your voice to stress the importance of what you said. To do so, many people do not hear the statement, especially the many that have various degrees of hearing problems. You should have your wife critique you, so you don’t get into bad speaking habits. Of course she probably does it anyway, so just listen to her.

Don’t let your prayers, degenerate into preaching, or making announcements. Recently, while on vacation I heard a pastoral prayer, that included praise, a sermon, an announcement and intercession. Save the prayer time for praise and intercession, one sermon in any service is enough.

If you publish a bulletin, you will of course list the announcements. In making public announcements, don’t elaborate on what has been written. Just call attention to the activities that are coming soon, and, the most important ones. Don’t insult the people by assuming they can't read.

Teach your platform people not to greet the people with, “good morning”, or any other statement that requires a public response. The response is always half-hearted, and invariably the person in charge will respond with, “We can do better than that”, and again says “Good morning”. The result is much better, but the service is started on a negative note that nobody wants.

Plan your service well. Teach the platform people not to leave any dead spots. Have the next person to speak or perform, be in place, and ready to begin as soon as the previous one finishes. Forget the etiquette-thing of waiting for the last person to be seated before the next one gets up.

Train your platform people not to talk excessively. Lots of people don’t know how to stop when they are finished. Teach your singers, that they are not there to speak, but to sing. Some singers think they have to talk about the song, or make other comments before they sing. Remind them that they are the singer, and not the speaker. Teach the people using the microphone how to hold it, for its full advantage. You probably would be surprised how many in the congregation have hearing problems.

Here is a word to youth, children’s leaders, and assistant pastors. Most of what has been said would apply to you, as well as to the pastor. The major exception would be about finances. Youth and Children’s Pastors need to have a clear understanding of what is expected of them.

It seems that many of them believe that their main job is to be just an Activities Director. I believe that their main job, while conducting activities, should be in evangelizing and nurturing of the spiritual life of the believers.

The nurturing needs to give major emphasis on instilling the importance of faithfulness in church attendance. The Youth and Children’s pastors should be working to help their converts and congregations become good adult Christians as they mature. If teens don’t learn the importance of church attendance as teens, they will not be in church as adults. No one can be a good Christian that is not faithful in church attendance.

If teens and children learn the importance of church attendance, they will be nurtured in their spiritual life through the regular channels of church. I have had, and seen, numerous youth pastors, but have never seen any succeed in instilling this most important trait. I have seen many youth and children’s pastors build up a large following, through being a good Activities Director. But as soon as that pastor left, so did his following.

I have too often seen youth and children’s pastors have a big week- night program, but have almost no teens or children in the Sunday services. If children and teens do not learn to be faithful in church attendance before they become adults, who is going to be able to teach them after they are adults.

In all the churches I have pastored, I met many many people in the community who would say “I used to attend your church when I was a child or teen”.

A good way to help teach faithfulness is to get the teens to sit together in a certain section of the church during the services, especially down front, perhaps to one side. A side benefit of this is, that the congregation sees the success of the youth pastor, and is encouraged in his ministry. Thus they are motivated to support it. It’s hard to promote and finance a program, unless there are visible results.

Probably the main way to teach faithfulness is by dealing with them one on one, explaining and teaching the importance of it. It seems to me that the success of a youth pastor can be measured by how many teens are faithful in attendance to the regular church services after he leaves. If this is true, there are very few successful youth pastors.

A word or two concerning sharing your pulpit, In my beginning pastorate I was very jealous of my pulpit, partly because I loved to preach. As I grew as a pastor, I learned that there were real benefits in having guest preachers, (especially if they had something to say). The congregation may not get tired of your preaching, but they probably learn to appreciate it more, if they have a break occasionally.

In regard to vacations: I learned over the years to plan my vacations so as to be in my church as many Sundays as possible. This would mean leaving on Monday and getting back on Saturday. Of course there are occasions that you must miss a Sunday.

Once you have become “the pastor” in the hearts of your people, they find a great deal of comfort and security in your presence. When you first become pastor, and miss a Sunday, the people say when you return, “I missed you”. After you become their pastor, they say “I sure am glad you are back”.

If pastors knew what went on in their church while they were on vacation, there would be fewer vacations. Recently I was in a church with the regular pastor preaching. I left the service thinking that this is a good church, a good pastor. Two weeks later, I returned to find the pastor on vacation, and left the church thinking this is the worst church service I have ever been in. The music was bad, the person in charge did not have any idea what he was doing and rambled and rambled just to hear himself talk. He finally introduced the speaker at 11:50. The speaker was inept, poorly prepared and plain boring. If I had been a visitor looking for a church, I would have run from it, never to return.

In regard to the nominating committee. The Manual provides for the church board to choose how they are selected. It is easy to get the board to let the congregation vote. You can then control who is nominated, by seeing that the committee adopts guide lines such as listed in paragraph 39. For example, a candidate must be sanctified, faithful in attendance and be a tither.

I also insisted that only one board member per family, except in small churches be nominated. If a name came up that did not meet the above, the pastor can simply say he doesn’t qualify, without saying why.

On detecting spiritual problems in a member. The first indication is usually a dropping off of Bible reading, devotions, prayer, etc. The first outward sign is usually their stopping tithing. (This is one reason the pastor needs to check the giving records occasionally.) Then they start to miss services, and resigning from positions of service. Next they, usually become critical of the pastor or program. Finally they are not attending church at all. The sooner the pastor sees diminishing of spirituality, the sooner he can help reverse it by personal intervention.

Recruiting people for service in the church is essential. Few people will come asking for a position. If they do, find them one immediately. Usually the order is-having a job, then finding a person to do it. Determine what spiritual gifts and skills are needed, and then look for a person who has them, and is not over-burdened with jobs. Follow Jesus’ admonition “to pray the Lord of the harvest to send out workers” Matt 9:38.

Then talk to a prospect personally, explaining the need, the requirements and the job description. Ask them to pray about it, and then follow up on it. To announce from the pulpit or bulletin the need of a worker for a job, is a waste of time and ink. Besides you might get a volunteer that should not be in that position.

A pastor should always be analyzing his people, for strengths and abilities, especially new people, so he can match skills and gifts with jobs.

These things worked for me, if they can help you, go to it.

L. Dale HORTON
1700 W. “F” st.
Oakdale Ca. 95361
dhorton@caltel.con